Frequently Asked F#%*ups
1. "Doesn't Reddit's User Agreement already say they own my stuff?"
That's what they want you to believe. That somehow, buried in the fine print, you've already given them consent. In reality, their own fucking User Agreement says you keep your rights. The problem isn't what the agreement says, it's the new, insane legal theory they're trying out in court. Don't take our word for it. Here's their own foreplay, screenshotted for your pleasure:
"You retain any ownership rights you have..." Funny how they forget that part when they're in court.
2. "Can't they just hide behind Section 230 like every other platform?"
Ah, Section 230. The internet's favorite safe word. Everyone loves to scream it, but almost no one has actually read it. It protects platforms from what *users* post. It was never intended to be a free pass for corporations to pilfer intellectual property. In fact, the law explicitly carves out IP law. It's written right there. It's the legal equivalent of "anything but that."
See? "No effect on intellectual property laws." So, no, they can't use that excuse.
3. "Did Reddit's lawyers *really* argue that whoever hosts content first gets to keep it?"
Yes. We're not exaggerating for comedic effect. Before three judges of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, Reddit's lawyer was asked if Yahoo would have a claim to WallStreetBets if it had started there before moving to Reddit. The answer was an unequivocal "yes." They believe the landlord owns the furniture, the bar owns your drink, and the bed manufacturer owns your orgasm. Listen for yourself. We've queued it up to the moment of climax.
The argument starts around 20:45. Prepare to be amazed.