Reddit's legal theory: they provide the bed, so they own the baby.
And over the years they've fucked A LOT of people on that mattress.
But we got your back, so you don't go bareback.
This is the prophylactic for your intellectual property.
In a moment of legal premature ejaculation, Reddit told a judge that if you conceive an idea on their platform, they get custody.
They've explicitly argued that the first social media platform to host users' content gets paternity rights.
So we're here to protect you against them fucking you over.
Before you even think about posting, create your masterpiece here. We timestamp your content in our digital black book, host and archive it, giving you undeniable proof that you, and only you, came first. It’s the ultimate 'I was here first' receipt to shut down any deadbeat claims.
With your IP safely sheathed, use our tool to post directly to Reddit. They get all the thrilling engagement they desperately crave, while your creative seed is 100% protected. They can feel it, but they can't claim it as their own.
You walk away with full custody of your intellectual property. No messy legal diseases, no paternity tests. No STDs. Reddit gets a blue-balled legal team and creators get the satisfaction they deserve. Everybody who matters wins.
Preamble: Unlike certain platforms, our terms are written for humans. We believe the person who creates something is the person who owns it. Shocking, we know.
Your posts, comments, memes, manifestos, DD, loss porn, and subreddit charters are YOURS. We are just the ribbed, ultra-thin latex layer between your genius and their grabby corporate hands. We have no claim. We want no claim. We want to protect your claim.
This site has no intention of being a social media platform. It is a functional, legally-binding technological construct for protective measures. Its sole purpose is to show the legal absurdity being argued, and simultaneously protect creators from the consequences of Reddit's' ridiculous understanding of how social media works.
By using this service, you are contractually asserting your ownership over your content *prior* to its appearance on Reddit. You are also implicitly agreeing that providing servers does not grant IP rights to user content, and that their argument is, legally speaking, a limp-dick excuse for a legal theory.